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Monday, August 5, 2013

the Desire and the Dose

DomesticatedWorkingWoman

Blame it on Pinterest, or Blog World, or our generation, but there are so many incredible moms out there that I find myself with a strong desire to be Super Mom.  You know... cloth diapers, homemade organic baby food, breast feeding for 16+ months...

It hit me the other day that some women are extremely talented and maybe even called to do ALL those things.  It is their job to be a stay at home mommy and bless them for that.  Unfortunately staying at home is not in my cards...at least not right now.  Therefore I needed my own mom to give me a dose of reality when I was carrying on about all these magnificent things I'm going to do on top of being a wife, mother, teacher, student, and keeping the child alive!

She brought to my attention that I cannot do all of those things and do them 100%.  And she is right.  I am the type of person that does things 100% or I don't do them at all.  So, it was time for me to sit down and prioritize what is best for me, my husband, and our growing family.  It is okay not to do everything ourselves.  It is okay to spend money on conveniences that save us time.  It is okay to admit that there will be times that I will be too tired, busy, or stressed to be Super Mom.

None of these things will affect the love I demonstrate to my baby.  So, it's okay.

I've realized that the best moms capitalize on their strengths and make up for their weaknesses in other ways.  The best moms focus more time and energy on their baby and less on cleaning, cooking, and worrying.  So, as I come into mommyhood there are things you will and will not see on this blog and there are things I will try to do and fail at.  There are things I will not want to do that may work out for the best.  I promise to share it all with you: the good and the bad, the success and the failure.

You will not see me using cloth diapers.  I wish I could and I know there are so many women out there just as busy as I am that do.  However, after looking at expense, time, and effort I have realized that this is one area where convenience is worth the money.  It is difficult to find a daycare willing to use cloth diapers and this is a decision we have made for our family.

You will not see me making ALL my baby's food.  I will make most of the food, but this is another area where at times convenience will be worth the time saved.  My husband and I eat many steamed veggies so I will definitely be preparing those for baby, but I cannot commit myself to spending a few hours each week preparing all the food myself.  When the time comes, if I realize I enjoy making the food and it is not super time-consuming, perhaps I will change my mind.

You will see me attempting to breast feed for as long as physically possible, but this will include pumping as I will be going back to work full time.  I've heard horror stories and blessings about breast feeding and I'm praying already that I have the blessing of this bonding moment with my babe.

You will see me loving this baby, unconditionally with all my being each and every moment of every day.  I'm sure you will get sick of pictures, tweets, stories, and celebrations.  I'm also sure you will forgive me.  After all, this is the most essential thing I can do for this child.

I think every mom is a Super Mom.  
Navigating motherhood and raising children is not an easy job.  
Any woman who does so with grace, humility, and love is a Super Mom in my book.

still being [molly]

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11 comments:

  1. Love this, lins. It's so hard for us to naturally fall into almost a sense of competition. We wanna be and do the best! But at the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you and your family! You're going to be an amazing mama.

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  2. You are a FANTASTIC MOM!!! Goodness, I remember these days. The guilt and torment... Now my kids are 14 and 17 and it's still there. But we all do the best we can and you know what? That's all we can do! And guess what? They survive on store bought baby food. The live through us napping instead of taking a walk. And they turn out wonderfully... because we all do the best we can. The best we can give them is caring and support and 100% being there! Your family is very, very, lucky!
    xo ~kim

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  3. You're so smart to not pressure yourself!! I stay home and had hopes of all 3: bfeeding for a long time, making my own food & cloth diapers. I've learned that you need to find what works. I loved cloth diapers, but hubby did not. It also made Brooke break out in rashes, and so I stopped. I sometimes make her food, but a lot of times pull from the cupboard--and I barely made the 6 month mark nursing!! I still think i'm doing okay! No one can be "perfect" but we can all just do our best. You'll find your groove with your own little one and you'll do just beautifully with it. Love your post!! :)

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  4. You're so smart to not pressure yourself!! I stay home and had hopes of all 3: bfeeding for a long time, making my own food & cloth diapers. I've learned that you need to find what works. I loved cloth diapers, but hubby did not. It also made Brooke break out in rashes, and so I stopped. I sometimes make her food, but a lot of times pull from the cupboard--and I barely made the 6 month mark nursing!! I still think i'm doing okay! No one can be "perfect" but we can all just do our best. You'll find your groove with your own little one and you'll do just beautifully with it. Love your post!! :)

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  5. I just wanted to say thanks for this. As a working preggo who will be returning to work very quickly after the birth of my baby, I get easily guilt-ridden. This just helps me remember that just because I'm not cloth diapering or cooking his own food doesn't mean I love my baby any less. I'm prioritizing the time we will have together, and to me spending it in snuggles is what's worth it.

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  6. You will be an amazing mother! I felt the same way when i was pregnant, overwhelmed with all the things "super moms" do but I realized that I had to do what was right for us. One thing I didn't do was give Ethan the jarred baby food meat! It smells like cat food and I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I did make his food, but he basically ate what we ate for dinner I would just mash it up for him. Also I breastfed for as long as I could, he actually stopped on his own. I loved breast feeding it was just such a special time and created such a bond. I'm looking forward to breastfeeding our next baby when that time comes. I pumped also, but I had a hard time with keeping up a good supply, so I did have to supplement with formula which I didn't want too initially but again it was for the best.

    I guess all in all, you can plan for things but don't be afraid if they don't go as planned. Go with the flow and just enjoy this new little bundle of life and joy.

    Sorry for this extremely long comment! :)

    xoxo

    www.shabbychicandcheap.com

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  7. Hey girl, I wouldn't stress out right now about the mom that you want to be. You will be a super mom no matter what! Don't be too hard on yourself and in time, you will find the right balance of what works for you and baby<3

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  8. I know no one likes unasked for advice (so obviously I'm about to give some), but I think baby food is totally overrated and just a marketing ploy.

    I don't ever buy baby food and I'm WAY too lazy to make my own baby food. My baby basically eats whatever we're eating (within reason) and I supplement with super easy things like applesauce, mashed bananas, and yogurt. Way better than spending hours pureeing things in the kitchen.

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  9. You will be an amazing mom by just being you! I definitely feel the same way sometimes when I see perfect super moms on blogs, but then I realize that everyone is different and that I will know what is best for my baby when the time comes

    xoxo
    Petchie
    http://psblogbook.blogspot.com/

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  10. You are going to be an AMAZING mother!!! It's too hard to do all of those things. That's for sure. Just do what you're best at :)

    Can't wait to see you tomorrow!!

    xo,
    Angela

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  11. I LOVED this! I was just talking to my friend today how I believe blogging has been the cause of a lot of my mommy guilt. I wouldn't beat myself up over not making most of Mia's food (I make a little bit and and we give her food off her plates. But the food I mix with her rice cereal isn't homemade) or decorating Mia's nursery (we just moved so why decorate it when she wouldn't have a clue the first 6 months of her life) or, or, or! I wouldn't have known these were things to feel guilty about until I started reading about the mom's who "do it all"!
    But I have come to terms with the fact that some things are SUPER important to m (as Mia's mom) and others aren't. No more beating myself up because I can't keep up with so and so (who I don't even really know!) I love Mia and she loves me... obviously I'm doing something right!

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