Tuesday, August 12, 2014
What's Going on Inside
Raven wrote this post about breaking points and judgement and it got me thinking...
Thinking about the times I've compared my life to others', thinking they were happier or more successful or more "together" than me.
Thinking about the smiles and laughter and facades we can so easily outwardly display regardless of what is going on inside.
Thinking about how sad it is (yet how alarmingly easy it is) to feel alone in a world full of people that love and care for you.
I've never been depressed. I've never considered taking my life. I've never had to take medication for any reason other than the common illness. But, I can't say that those things will never happen. Because, like Raven said, we do all have a breaking point. The heart can only take so much.
A few years ago I was going through a difficult time. Changes were happening with residual effects that I hadn't anticipated. Change has always been slightly daunting to me, particularly when I'm not in control. I know at that point in my life I really needed a friend. Someone to ask me how I was doing, if I was okay, or if I simply wanted to talk.
At the time, some of my closest friends backed off and the friendships aren't the same. It was (and is) heartbreaking for me. I miss them.
I guess the point of it all is that we need to look deeper. Sometimes a friend is acting out because they need attention. Sometimes a friend is crying because it is therapeutic and they don't know what else to do. Sometimes they stop attending dinner parties, concerts, or outings because they feel more alone in the group than they do by themselves. At those times, I hope that I will be someone who asks, "How are you, really?"
It's hard to put up with those behaviors when we don't know what is going on and it's hard to know what is going on until we ask.
RIP Robin Williams; you rockstar of a human being.