The Skinny "Compliment"

Ugh.  The other day a former student commented, "You had a baby...but you're really skinny now!"

I cringed.

I know he meant it as a compliment and I tried really hard to smile and take it as one, but whenever someone says that to me I. just. cringe.

All my life I was small - I never had to worry about what I was eating.  In fact, the biggest concern was whether or not the store my mom and I were shopping in would have something small enough to fit me.  People would call me "skinny minnie" or "string bean."

And those people weren't being mean to me.  They were terms of endearment, but I heard insults every single time.  I felt ridiculed for being thin.

I didn't want to be thin.  I wanted to be strong.  And today, I don't want to be thin.  I don't want to be a size 0.  I don't want to look like I walked off the runway.

And after having my son it was a constant uphill battle to lose the baby weight.  Those pesky pounds would not leave me!  I suddenly could no longer eat whatever I wanted and when I was shopping it was hit or miss with the way things fit.

I want to be fit, strong, toned, tight.  I want a booty.  I want to be called "quadzilla" or "strongmom."

So I cringed.

I'm a role model for young girls.  I'm a mom.  I am an example.  And although I am by no means perfect, I am trying to be the best role model/mom/example I can be and being "skinny" isn't in my credentials.  Nor do I want it to be.

We are way too focused on being thin and body shaming and defining ourselves by the size hanging in our closet which is probably filled with clothing even though we have nothing to wear.  Right?!

I don't want people to look at me and think: skinny/thin/tiny/ I want people to look at me and think: determined/strong/fit/capable/motivated/disciplined/driven.

The things I want people to recognize aren't even physical traits.  I want people to look deeper.  I want them to see what's important to me.  And being skinny is not important to me.