Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Mornings are the hardest.
It's not secret: when I go to work each day, my heart is in a different place.
This sweet little boy carries it around with him all day. And while I know he is in a place where he is loved, safe, and happy, I also dread dropping him off there each day. Not because he isn't cared for, but because I miss him all. day. long.
Every single day when I drop him off, I have tears in my eyes. I have to change the radio station on the way to work and pump myself up (in 5 minutes) to change my mind about the day. I know I'm missing out on things by not being there. I also know that he would be missing out on things if he weren't there.
Mornings are so hard for me.
I so dislike waking him up like an alarm rather than letting him snooze at his leisure. I hate that we can't take the time in the morning to play with his truck and pet the dogs. The fact that the first 30 minutes I spend with my son are in the car just really stinks to be honest.
In the summers I get to experience what life as a SAHM is like and I have to admit - it's harder. I really think staying home is harder than going to work. But, what's the hardest is leaving your heart somewhere each morning and hoping someone is guarding it like you would, kissing his booboos, and breathing in his snuggles.
And I must add that it's not that I don't love teaching; I do. I 100% put myself into my job and want to do well for my students. I love what I do, I just love my son a whole lot more.