Have you ever been that girl?
It could mean different things depending on what that thing is for you. You know what I mean?
Like, maybe you're the girl who pretends to be someone she isn't so she fits in with whatever crowd she's hanging with. Maybe you're the one who eats Oreos in her closet so no one knows. Maybe you're the one who acts like a total badass when in reality you're super sensitive. Maybe you're the one so desperate to look in the mirror and like what you see that you're willing to do whatever it takes to get there.
That was me.
Let me make it clear: I've never had an eating disorder and I am not trying to discount the seriousness or severity of that. What I did do, however, was take weight loss pills that are not FDA approved (I assume considering I could only buy them by going to the back of a nail salon and the packaging was all written in Korean) just so that I could be a certain size.
I was told the pills were water pills and they pretty much depleted my body of water. I was warned that if I drank less than 80-100 ounces of water a day I could be hospitalized for dehydration. I was only warned after trying to find information about the pills online. None of that scared me - I continued taking them focusing on what I thought was important.
Someone I knew who was also taking the pills ended up hospitalized for dehydration; that's when I decided to stop taking them myself. I blamed the pills for her hospital visit and that's when I started to question their safety.
Fast forward to today, 2 kids later. I am so much more in tune with what I'm putting in my body. I treat it like the temple it is and I'm forever grateful there are no side effects of that poor decision made just a few years ago.
I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I know I'm doing it the right way and that is so much more important to me than getting there quickly.
I hope that by sharing this I can encourage you to do the same, be patient, and give yourself grace.