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Thursday, January 23, 2020

SOAR


It took me a while - a long while - to figure out what I wanted my word for 2020 to be.  2019 truly was a year of healing for me.  Spiritual, mental, emotional.  I wanted it to be my comeback year, but it was more or less a year of survival.  I'd like to think I did a little more than survive, but as I look back with that 20/20 hindsight we all know and love I realize it was more about just getting through.  And I'm not discounting it.  It wasn't easy, but I did it.

I'm proud of 2019 because it forced me to put my own oxygen mask on.  For so long I had been handling everything for everyone, but me.  And I literally had no choice to do me first or I was going to lose it.  Allllll of it.  And it wasn't going to be pretty.  So I did what I had to do.

I started therapy.  I took weekly baths.  I exercised daily.  I started working with a life coach.  I got a business mentor.  I read a lot of books.  I started a daily gratitude journal.  I prayed a lot and cried just as much.  I listened to podcasts.  I screamed.  I ran.  I wept.  I did what felt right.  What felt necessary.

And here I am today still standing.  Not an entirely new person, but a lot changed. 

I'm not nearly as naive as I once was.  Honestly, I don't love this about myself.  I sort of miss my natural ability to trust, but I know it is not wise.  I notice things and see red flags and I've stopped accepting things I don't want in my life into my life.  I wrote down non-negotiables for my future man and they are just that, non-negotiable.  I don't allow people to speak down to me without speaking up for myself.  I've stopped being the yes girl and started saying no more. 

I'm definitely stronger, more independent, and courageous. 

2020 is going to be my year to not just get back on track with my goals, but to break through them.  I'm not just going to fly or rise in my case.  I am going to SOAR.

More on my goals later, for now, my word is soar.

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